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You May Feel Lost

It’s totally normal to be scared of the unknown. You may be struggling with landing your dream job, frustrated you’re not excelling as fast as you want to, or simply confused about what your purpose is. I have one piece of advice for you to overcome those fears and take the leap- whatever your leap may be! I’m answering some of your most common questions in the video I put out today. Finding your purpose is easier said than done, but I know many of you are so eager to rise so quickly but don’t think about how important those tiny steps in the middle actually are.

When I was 17 I moved to NY with 9 suitcases, not even $100 & no approval from my parents’… I gave myself 30 days to be able to pay the rent for an apartment in Bedstuy Brooklyn. On day 30 after spending every day at a beauty supply store taking pictures of brand after brand to try and land an Instagram takeover, I got one reply. I managed to make $1,500 that went towards my rent and I only had 700 followers. The point is, whatever journey you decide to embark on (working a 9-5 or running your own company) you never can be prepared for what’s next. I truly think you have to always live in the moment and be looking forward to bigger things. Even if you’re comfortable, what’s holding you back from getting a little uncomfortable and thinking about what you could do in the future that’s different from what you’re doing now?

We’re in this journey together and I’m ALWAYS here to help!

Episode 85// Time To Move On And Up

Happy Wednesday! First thing first, I’m thrilled to announce This is Life Unfiltered is officially available on iHeartRadio podcasts! Download the iHeartRadio app or head to their website and type in This is Life Unfiltered- Alexa Curtis to listen to TILU!

I’ve spoken openly about how and why I moved out of my parents’ house when I was 17. I never fit into the town I grew up in and I always felt like I wanted to explore more than what I was seeing in front of me. I was eager to learn and explore from a very young age and when you grow up in a small town (as much as I adore the town I grew up in) you have factors that hold you back. I was passionate about not letting anything hold me back from being successful. When I first moved out, I spent 30 days in a row at Sally Hansen Beauty Supply in Brooklyn, NY taking pictures of brands to email. I got one reply out of 100s of emails and made $1,500 from an Instagram takeover for a hair brand. That paid my rent for the first month & I had 700 Instagram followers.

Want to hear more? Listen to episode 85 of TILU below.

Back-to-School Shopping with Candie’s at Kohl’s

This is a sponsored post in collaboration with Kohl’s and meets all FTC related regulations.

Photography by Fouda Studios. LOVE YOU GUYS!

I grew up in Mansfield, Connecticut where Kohl’s was pretty much my only option for cute clothing at a young age. Affordable too! As my budding entrepreneur self got older, I found myself wandering over to the local mall to catch the latest items available and grab some Lindt chocolate truffles on my way out, whether that be back to my house to finish homework or en route to NYC for Fashion Week. Times haven’t changed too much…I’m still a huge fan of Kohl’s and find myself constantly stopping in there when I’m home and also when I’m home in LA.

I’m not going back to school this month, but that doesn’t mean I’m not shopping at Kohl’s. I bet most of you are in the bulk phase of your back to school shopping right now, deciding where the most affordable notebooks and clothes are while figuring out how you’re going to balance all these classes?! Look no further because Kohl’s has it all. I went shopping at the store a few weeks ago to grab some items from the Candie’s line at Kohl’s. What I respect most about Kohl’s is that I always feel like I can truly be myself when I walk in there. Regardless of what line I’m shopping at (though Candie’s is my go-to) each designer in the store has fresh and beautiful clothing that should make you feel confident. The Juniors’ department at Kohl’s is tailored for those of you girls & guys who are ages 13-24 (me! me! me!). With many awesome items that will make you look like a rockstar in and out of the classroom, I’m calling Kohl’s the destination for everything BTS.

Receive $10 off of a $50 BTS purchase at Kohl’s (that can be used on all Candie’s apparel) from 8/2-8/18! Click here to find your local store.

Now, what’s stopping you from getting in the classroom and rocking your style this back to school season? Stay confident and fearless!

What You Should Know About Finsta’s

EPISODE 84// Did you know 160,000 kids in the United States are afraid to go to school everyday because of the fear of being bullied? Unfortunately social media has stemmed even more bullying, whether that’s via Instagram or via email. Bullying will never completely disappear but I truly think we can educate kids to lead healthier and happier lives without finding the need to put other people down.

I have been vocal about bullying since the beginning of my career (it’s one of the reasons I launched A Life in the Fashion Lane in 2011) and I am constantly reminded about how social media stems bullying. I published a blog post a few weeks ago on a situation that occurred on my “finsta” account, which is my private account that’s strictly followed only by my closest friends. The situation reminded me how important it is to be cautious about what you post on the web. It’s so easy to get caught up in the idea that because you’re posting something on a private social media channel that you’re in the clear from things like bullying or negativity, when in reality you’re not. Anything you post on social media, private account or not can be seen by someone else. I think having a finsta account is totally fine (mom & dad, it’s up to you whether you want access to your child’s account) as long as you are aware that the same rules apply. Most finstagram accounts are created with the intention of posting content that you wouldn’t post on your public page because it’s probably inappropriate content. Did you ever think about the fact that if something is inappropriate, no one should likely catch wind of that content besides your own eyes?

That being said, bullying will never disappear. What we can do as a community and outside of the school system is educate children to be more confident and safe people. I remember feeling so insecure during most of my childhood which is one of the reasons I think I was bullied- I was always the odd kid out! There’s no reason to be bullied just because you’re different. We need more education on both sides directed towards the “louder” kids and potentially the kids who are a bit more reserved so that no one feels the need to ever put anyone down. Same goes for when you’re out of school and working in the real world, whether that’s at a corporate job or at an internship. There needs to be more rules in corporate jobs and internships that educate people on how to deal with bullying head-on especially if it’s interrupting your work day or personal life.

Listen to more about finsta’s and bullying during episode 84, available on all podcast streaming platforms!

Don’t Let Social Media Ruin You

Earlier this week I tried convincing my mom to put me back on her car insurance but she refuses to because the insurance is high. I hate being stuck in Connecticut and not having access to drive around and run errands or work, so I went on Turo which is one of my favorite short-term car rental apps and tried renting a Prius. I got in touch with the owner to find out that the Prius was unavailable, while his Porsche was very available. After hours of text communicating and negotiating (I’m such an entrepreneur) I convinced him to give me the Porsche for the same cost as the Prius. I was a little nervous about driving a Porsche around but I figured I needed a car this week, so why not? I had my dad drive with me to pick it up, and his facial expression upon realizing the type of car I rented was priceless. He was in absolute shock and probably fear!

Fast forward a few hours and I’m getting hollered at, stopped on the highway and questioned every minute it felt like about this car. I’m not a car person, so I don’t know the difference between a Porsche, a Prius or a freakin’ Range Rover to say the least. It’s just a car, why does it matter? No part of me intended to rent a Porsche to film this video or to prove anything, but after I started driving it around I realized that there was content that should come out of this experience. I wanted to prove that social media isn’t what it’s cracked up to be, ever. What better way to do that than with an accidental Porsche rental? I was shocked at the amount of people who DM’ed me or friends who texted me freaking out thinking I actually bought a Porsche! I’m honored, but I wouldn’t trust myself in a car that goes this fast 24/7. Thank you, next.

In LA, I rent a car through a company called Canvas, and I certainly feel insecure driving around a car that’s not a Tesla. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t because I do. I know people who were fortunate enough to have family members buy them nice cars, but that’s not my reality. Every item I own or rent I have to work so hard to pay for, which is a rewarding and stressful feeling! LA is such a superficial place filled with Range Rover’s and Tesla’s on every corner, and sometimes you feel like you aren’t worthy if you aren’t driving one. In reality, I think you have no less value if you aren’t driving a nice car and I’ve had to force myself to understand the words I preach especially on the topic of the car. No material item is worth is much as you or your happiness is.

I hope this video and experience reminds you that social media is 1% of real life. All of the celebrities and “influencers” you follow aren’t always practicing what they preach, and you shouldn’t waste your time wanting anyone else’s life besides yours.

YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!

#FEARLESSFRI: I BOUGHT A PORSCHE!

#FearlessFridays You guys all know what being fearless means to me. To say the least, it’s the only way I like to live my life: by being fearless! But social media can turn certain positive things into negatives, and that’s why I wanted to film this video. The next time you find yourself so desperately comparing yourself to someone who may be richer, prettier or “happier” than you, remember that the Internet isn’t the real world. This is 1% of what reality is. Thank you to Fouda Studios in South Windsor, CT for filming this dope video!

#FearlessEveryday

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SOCIAL MEDIA: THIS IS LIFE UNFILTERED: soundcloud.com/thisislifeunfiltered

BLOG: www.lifeunfilteredwithalexa.com

INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/alexa_curtis

TWITTER: http://www.twitter.com/alexa_curtis

#WCW: Ava DuVernay

#WCW Meet Ava DuVernay, producer & my personal inspiration. If you’re not familiar with Ava, maybe you’re familiar with the hit Netflix series “When They See Us”. The show is the first show to truly showcase wrongful convictions in the proper light, a topic very important to be to bring attention to.

The reason I think Ava deserves as much attention as possible is because she chooses to produce content based on topics that aren’t talked enough about, whether that be race or wrongful convictions, Ava is the first producer to have no shame in starting the conversation. Hollywood is a tough place to thrive in, and Ava does just that with so much confidence. She is the perfect balance of opinionated and elegant, which is another hard middle ground to be successful at achieving.

Ava’s production company is called Array Now, which is a grassroots production company that focuses on highlighting women and people of color. While continuing to win awards every year in film, Ava is proving that the sky is the limit.

Bravo Ava, and thanks for continuing to inspire countless amounts of people. How many of you have watched her new Netflix documentary, based on the terribly sad story of the Central Park Five? I’ve never watched a show produced as well as that one.

Episode 83// Aja Dang, An OG Influencer

I started my blog in September of 2011, just a short while after bloggers like Chiara Ferragni and Aimee Song grew to fame. I truly think that the group of us that started so long ago has such a different perception of the industry now. The word “influencer” wasn’t a term any of us knew until what, 2 years ago? And because of that, nowadays everyone is an influencer. I can’t say I’m thrilled when I see that young people are dreaming of growing up to be an influencer or a blogger because I don’t consider either jobs unless you get lucky or you work for years and years to make yourself something. There is no guarantee you’ll make money: if that’s worth the risk to you, then maybe this industry is the right one for you. Just because everyone wants to be an influencer doesn’t mean that’s what you have to aspire to be. Be you!

Aja Dang and I met at a USC talk earlier this year and bonded over how much the industry has changed since we launched our platforms. Aja’s viral videos threw her into the spotlight before she decided to start talking more honestly about student loan debt, which is what Aja does full-time on her videos and social media now. For those of you looking for the inside scoop into the “influencer” world from an OG one, this episode is for you.

P.S. I am so sorry the sound sucks. I am working so hard to make the sound better and I’m just trying out tons of techniques to make it better every time. Hang tight as we go through these changes!

National Self-Care Day/ How I Take Care of Myself

how to have a self day care

Being a young entrepreneur isn’t easy, and I’m happy to say that. I might sound silly being vocal about the harsh realities that come behind running a company (tack on my age…and the journey is harder) but with this career path comes opportunities and excitement I wouldn’t have imagined in my wildest dreams. I didn’t have an easy childhood growing up, and my journey to being an entrepreneur hasn’t come without any struggles. Everyday I still struggle, and I try to balance everything as much as I can, but many days I find myself struggling with feeling like I need 24 more hours after my 24 hours of working! Whether you’re a student, a parent, or a kid, we all need to remember to take care of our mental health. I’ve recently realized the benefits of taking a step back when I feel overwhelmed. I used to limit myself to one week per year where I’d do absolutely no work, but after the first Be Fearless Summit earlier this year (and hopefully a new one to be announced soon) I see the value in taking days and occasionally weeks off. I like to call that time the reset time. We’re all human beings on this journey together, but life isn’t always easy. You have to remember that if you’re doing something and you’re not happy do it, what’s the point? What could you do to be a happier and healthier version of yourself?

In order to make sure that I’m healthy and happy, I do a few simple activities everyday (or almost everyday) to ensure that I’m taking care of myself and the people around me. Here’s what I do:

1. Every morning I meditate for 10 minutes with Headspace, an app that helps me remain calmer throughout the day. On days when I don’t meditate, like most of the past week, I’ve felt extra anxious. Life does get in the way of my routine, but following a routine as much as I can makes the days that I feel off balance a little easier to deal with.

2. I always exercise unless I’m away from a gym or access to exercising. For the next week or so I won’t be able to exercise because I’m in Turkey and the gym I used to go to closed down, so I’m trying to walk as often as possible and spend the time I’d used to be stressing about working out by staying occupied with my nephew. Most of my life I always have a reason to workout, but this little nugget is keeping me occupied so I don’t feel guilty if I’m not exercising during the day.

3. Last of all, staying as strict as I can with my daily routine when I’m in LA has made a drastic difference in my life. On days where I feel like I’m too tired and can’t work anymore, I put down my laptop and go on a walk or go home. I’m no use to myself or to anyone if I’m overwhelmed and tired. That’s not inspiring anyone!

The key is learning to slow down. You have to be willing to see the benefits in taking time off or a few hours off in return for an even happier and healthier version of yourself. Let today be the first day you try taking a few hours or the day to yourself: I bet you’ll be incredibly satisfied at 5 PM.

Taking care of yourself can often mean digging deeper into your feelings and facing mental health struggles too. Although it may be difficult at times, it’s important to have an awareness of how you’re feeling and how it’s affecting you on a daily basis. Part of a healthy self care routine could be talking about your emotions with those you trust and working through current issues you might be facing in life. Whether you’re trying to process grief whilst finding a funeral home for your loved one, or you’re navigating a difficult romantic loss, there are always feelings to work through. Once you find yourself in a consistent routine with regards to your mental health, you will start to feel much lighter and more aware of how certain feelings are triggered by situations. Having open, honest and heartfelt conversations with people in your life should be a regular part of your self care regime so that you always feel supported in everything you experience.

How I Deal with Bullying

Almost 1/4 students reports being bullied throughout the school year. That’s 22% of the population of students in any given school. When you think about that statistic, how do you feel? Personally, I feel sad for the kids out there who are dealing with their own bullies or finding the need to bully other people. Surprisingly, bullying doesn’t just end as you enter adulthood either. I was a victim of bullying during my days in public school growing up and I’ve found myself dealing with bullying in different forms as times have changed. Apparently starting a blog in middle school won’t make you the coolest kid on the block! I can’t even imagine how many of you deal with bullying as social media progresses. One study states that 160,000 kids in the United States refuse to go to school each day for the fear of being bullied, which I and many others likely have or still do relate to. I’m frequently asked by many of you whether I still deal with bullying, and the answer is yes. I don’t find myself often dealing with bullies, but you’d probably be surprised at how often people find the need to say something to me behind a computer screen without realizing the negative results of their opinion. Just because you think you may be helping a situation by voicing your opinion doesn’t mean you are, and I’m only human. However, I don’t find myself getting as upset when I’m bullied as I used to. If someone is putting you down, they are doing so because they’re unhappy or insecure with their own life. Instead of feeling angry, feel sad that this person is sad enough to put you down to bring themselves up.

Over the weekend I had a bullying situation which reminded me that bullying still exists, and the experience is one of the selling points for me writing this post. I’m not going to say I wasn’t extremely upset with the situation because I was. I was frustrated, slightly livid, sad and ultimately disappointed in the fact that someone felt the need to put me down so severely without actually contacting me and saying anything. There are many different ways to bully someone, whether that bullying is through social media or in-person, bullying is bullying. Social media bullying is just as severe because the extent of the damage can reach a new level without anything occurring in-person. When you post on social media, you don’t expect people that you know and at some point really respected to slap you in the back. Plot twist, they will. And you can’t blame that on yourself or social media. You do have to be incredibly careful with what you post, but you also need to be careful about the people you surround yourself with.

During episode 81 of This is Life Unfiltered (listen now on iTunes if you haven’t yet!!) my best friend Alix and I discuss how many friends we’ve gone through to finally realize the traits we require our friends now to have. If someone is willing to go behind your back and do something once, what makes you think they won’t do it again? AND, if one of your friends does that to someone else, what makes you think they won’t do it to you one day too? Be careful with what you post, but be even more careful with the people you have in your life.

Though I’m not in school, here’s how I dealt with in-person bullying when I was and my advice for those of you struggling with bullying in your school.

Reach out for help. I remember feeling so ashamed of wanting to tell my mom or school counselor about any bullying I dealt with, but when I came to terms with the fact that bullying is not normal and very unnecessary, I realized that people who do mean things should be called out for what they are doing. Reaching out for help is very scary, but once you finally do, you’ll realize that you don’t have to go through anything alone.

If the bullying doesn’t stop once you’ve reached out…at this point it might be time to call in a third party outside of your school. This may be the parent of the person bullying you or a police officer you come into contact with that will directly tell the person that bullying is not okay and their actions will come with consequences. There is no excuse like “kids will be kids” when bullying starts. Kids will be nice kids, no bullying necessary.

If you see someone being bullied, stand up for them. Bullying will only become more severe, and you can do your part as the student in a community to tell someone else. Don’t worry about being bullied yourself if you ask for help- your school and your parents will be able to protect you if need be.

It’s so important to realize that bullying is not the end. I wish every young person out there knew that they don’t have to go through bullying alone. Once you ask for help, the journey gets much easier. Bullying is absolutely terrible and every form of bullying is equally terrible. You are much stronger than you think.

For more help with bullying and mental health, call 1-800-273-TALK.