I finished watching To The Bone on Netflix yesterday, and here’s what I thought about the movie.
I’ve never put up a review of a show before, probably because I don’t like to consider myself a film critic. I barely want to label myself a food critic, even with the amount of free food I get to review.
That being said, I want to start incorporating more reviews of shows + films onto A Life in the Fashion Lane because there has been a drastic increase of mental health shows lately. A few months ago, I did an entire press tour surrounding13 Reasons Why, and why I thought the show poorly portrayed teen suicide. You can see the list of shows I appeared on talking about the show on my As Seen On page!
I initially thought To The Bone was a TV show, so was surprised when I started watching to see that it’s actually a movie. Over the past 24 hours, I’ve spoken to a few friends and my intern about the movie, and I’m quite excited to say that I think the movie was fantastic. Unlike 13 Reasons Why, To The Bone properly portrayed anorexia. It didn’t steer away from the mission of the movie, and it didn’t glamorize the show at all. As someone who has suffered from an eating disorder, I watched and felt proud to have overcome what I battled. I cried while watching To The Bone. My friends said the same thing- the ones who have battled an eating disorder and the ones who haven’t. When I watched 13 Reasons Why, I felt like I was back in my high school body: insecure and occasionally suicidal. I cried because I felt too close to the topic. Watching To The Bone made me cringe, but not in a bad way. It made me realize how an eating disorder takes over your mind. It’s not something you can overcome overnight, or even overcome in your lifetime, unless you deal with intensive therapy and treatment.
I admire the fact that the show didn’t choose beautiful, thin, sexy characters. The cast was all real, normal-looking people who simply had eating disorders. It’s sensitive on the topic; and even puts a disclaimer at the beginning of the movie to warn sensitive teens who watch. I admire how the movie also properly portrayed how the people around you feel when battle an eating disorder. It’s just as hard on friends and family as it is on the person suffering.
13 Reasons Why made teens think that suicide isn’t the end. Suicide is the end of a life, and the way suicide was portrayed in that show made it seem like it’s sexy to die and miraculously come back.
At the end of To The Bone, you watch Eli (Lily Collins) walk back into recovery, which many people who have had substance abuse or eating issues can relate to. It’s not an overnight process, and it takes time and acceptance before you can completely recover. It’s up to you to decide when you’re ready to get better; not the people around you.
I’d love to hear what you thought about the show. Email me below!
I’m soooo in vacation mode. I’ve never actually taken a “real” vacation: all of my trips in the past two years have been work-oriented. This one is work-oriented too, but it’s going to be a bit more fun. I’ll be in London for Wireless Festival on Friday-Sunday, and G-Eazy is performing which is one of the only reasons I’m going. I’m kind of obsessed with him. I’ll be covering all of Wireless on my social media, so make sure to follow along for tons of fun interviews and action! London is one of the loveliest cities in the entire world, and it’s so sad to see what’s been happening there. My mom is from London, so I’m attached to the city. Everyone is so nice- I even almost moved there last year!
I love being able to travel and hopefully inspire other people to travel. When I transferred to online school in high school, I started traveling just about everywhere. It’s been eye-opening to see how the rest of the world lives. The thing about living in America is you don’t exactly get to see what the rest of the world is living like, until you travel outside of the country. For those who read this and think they don’t have enough money to travel: I get it. You should read my post on teens & finances for some handy advice about saving money and traveling! Stoke Travel is the company I’m heading to Ibiza with, and they are known for having totally affordable bundle deals with young adults.Going to countries like Thailand and Turkey have truly inspired me to try and change the world. Compared to America, the rest of the world doesn’t have it as easy as we do. Even when I am complaining about something irrelevant, I try and remind myself how the rest of the world is living. They don’t even have cell phones in some places, you know?
On the topic of cell phones, I’ve been taking some time off of my phone to be more present in the moment. I spend so much time on my phone I get lost in this virtual reality a lot of the time. So this week, if you’re in the mood to turn your phone off, just do it. Cell phone life isn’t real life.
What do I do after a TV segment? Eat Wendy’s, duh.
I just got back yesterday from St. Louis and I hosted a segment on Fox about some of my favorite healthy snacks!! I absolutely love St. Louis. It’s honestly one of the freakin’ coolest cities I’ve ever been to. Unfortunately, I was only in town for a short 24 hours, so I didn’t get to indulge in my usual chicken and waffles like I frequently enjoy. Sooo instead I got Wendy’s after my photoshoot, cause why not. Also, these hot pink pants were $10 at TJ.Maxx, which pretty much made my entire gym outfit go from 0-100.
I met with Lifetime TV in NYC earlier this week, before I found out that M.I.N.T. got approved to be an OFFICIAL nonprofit. I’m so excited. My business partner, Steve, called me and told me the news. I almost started crying! I never imagined running a nonprofit at 19 when I started my blog- it’s crazy what following your dreams can turn into. For the next few months, we are planning on finalizing our curriculum, and then hiring some staff. I want to create a team that’s as passionate about social media and mental health as we are, and people who are in it for the long run. I’ve got a great team behind my blog, so now I want to take this team and bring it over to M.I.N.T.!
Have an absolutely phenomenal weekend, and don’t forget to listen to the Purpose in the Youth podcast I appeared on this week!
This past weekend, I headed to Connecticut to shoot the cover photo for the podcast I’m starting with my friend Brenna! We stopped in South Windsor, Connecticut to get our hair and makeup done at the Green Tangerine salon. I’ve always wanted to go into this shop, since I was a kid, so I was thrilled to finally make it in! When her and I get together, it’s literally such a blast. We end up screwing around, laughing, and eating so much. I accidentally broke an entire glass jug of water in the salon which we got on camera and then the video was deleted, which just shows how truly clumsy I am.
For our podcast cover, we both knew we wanted cupcakes involved because we both have a strong message with loving your body and eating what you want. Of course, we had to get the biggest and most delicious cupcakes ever, which we both proceeded to eat during the photo shoot. The cool thing about us is that we can dress up and get our makeup done, but at the end of the day, we don’t give a f*** about what our body might look like after we eat a cupcake and a burger. Who really cares, anyway? If you love yourself on the outside, that will always show on the outside.
We shot a few outfit looks while in town, and I ended up falling in love with this denim skirt and leather heel look. There is something so perfect about wearing a mini skirt with heels, and as girly as it may be, I have no shame in saying dressing up is actually quite fun. When there is food involved, it’s much more fun. Especially gluten-free salted chocolate cupcakes.
Check out the video below! I’m in St. Louis for the next 24 hours for a TV segment I have tomorrow, and then I’m back in Connecticut for a few days before heading to Boston next week and then London, Ibiza and Dublin! Where should I check out in Dublin/Ibiza!? Any suggestions?
This week on Influencer Intro is the CEO of Purpose in the Youth, Bobby Hobert.
A few weeks ago, I got an email from someone asking if I’d be down to appear on his podcast. I didn’t do too much investigating, besides subscribing on the podcast app, and I rescheduled multiple times before I finally got a chance to meet Bobby. I biked 9 miles (stupidly) from my apartment in the North End to Allston, MA, and ended up at a seriously cool home studio. If you’ve never heard of Bobby Hobert, he started the popular podcast called Purpose in the Youth, about a year ago. Listen to the podcast, and you won’t even care about who he is interviewing as much as what their message is. The cool thing about him is he could’ve taken the celebrity route, talking to people with millions of followers, but instead, he interviews people who have a mission. Yea, they may have millions of followers, but their message goes deeper than their Instagram count.
This is one of my favorite Influencer Intros yet!!
A: What did you do before you started Podcast in the Youth?
B: I was a full-time student at a small business school, Bentley University, in Waltham, MA before the podcast. It was perfecting timing because I had the idea to launch it about four months out from graduating and by the end of the summer I had everything ready to go to launch the first episode on August 31, 2016.
A: What prompted you to speak to people about their passions?
B: I had promised myself that I wasn’t going to just take any job that came across my lap when I was graduating, it would have to be something that I was passionate about or something that excited me to get out of bed every morning. Just a week before my finals my best friend who is a pop/r&b artist, Dylan Reese, called me and told me he had got booked for his first tour and he wanted me to tour manage it. It was a dream come true for the both of us and I had seen someone who was so passionate about his craft actually make things happen so thats when I decided I wanted to capture the stories of passionate people.
A: What, so far, has been the most memorable story you have heard or person to whom you have spoken?
B: I get asked this question a lot and I really can’t say there is one that stands out the most. I’ve had people like Gibson Hazard, episode 22, who picked up a camera and just decided he wanted to become the best concert photographer and now at 20 and he just off The Weeknd Tour shooting for 6lack, then theirs Tim Larew, episode 32, who started a music blog back in college and now is the talent manager for Boston’s artists Cousin Stizz, Michael Christmas, Cam Meekins etc. I think what’s unique about the podcast is that every episode is special in its own way. It’s people that’ve realized what their passion is and have never lost sight of it even through the highs and lows.
A: What is your favorite place to do work, or to get inspired, in Boston?
B: My favorite place to do work is in my studio in my apartment. It’s pretty much where I’ve built this podcast and it’s where I can toss my phone on my bed, get to work, and not get distracted by anything else going on. I drive Uber pretty much full-time in Boston and just driving around the streets inspires me. Seeing so many different people hustling around the city any hour of the day for me feels like energy and pushes me to keep going.
A: What do you personally hope to gain from hearing stories of people’s passions? What do you hope your listeners gain?
B: One thing – perspective. I don’t think i’ll ever be an artist, a professional BMX rider, make-up artist, film director, health and wellness coach etc but gaining the perspective of why these people do what they do and what they’ve gone through to get there to me is inspiring and a great way to learn. I think its important that we find what we’re good at and to perfect that skill set but I think its equally important to know a little about a lot. I hope the listeners get inspired, learn something new, are entertained or find the podcast as a place where they can escape the millions of others things going on in their life and just relax. Go back hundreds of years and people used to sit around camp fires telling stories while others just listened, I hope this can have the same impact.
A: How do you think social media, and Instagram in particular, has affected your brand visibility?
B: I think people that come across the Instagram account posting can tell this is legit and isn’t just a temporary thing that will be gone in a few months. I’m a big believer in quality over quantity and try to only post content that will either pull the person in to want to learn more, give them some insight on what’s being talked about on the podcast or a little motivation. It’s hard to get people to click “play” on an hour long piece of content so through these 60 second video clips I try to give them enough value so that they feel comfortable giving it a listen. Social media can be your best friend or your worst enemy but there is no question about it, you must be on it to gain brand awareness.
A: Who is the most influential person in your life?
B: If we’re talking about someone I personally know and talk to, its my best friend Dylan Reese. I wouldn’t be where I am today or who I am if it wasn’t for me, that guy is my brother. If we’re talking someone I don’t personally know then I would say Gary Vaynerchuk. I’ve consumed almost every single piece of content that guy has put out and he’s helped indirectly guide me through the process of being an aspiring entrepreneur and the keys to winning.
A: What are your plans for the future of your podcast?
B: Take this podcast worldwide and capture stories of people all over the globe. Run a YouTube channel with tons of content around not just the podcasts but finding other ways to bring value to people. Host “passion fairs” where people set up booths with what they do and what they have to offer much similar to career fairs. I vision this podcast becoming so much larger than what it is now. Patience is the name of the game.
Start from the bottom, until you can work your way to the top.
I’ve noticed that people are really curious about topics relating to anything that isn’t straightforward. When I mean straightforward, I mean a straightforward life path. Middle school, high school, college, masters, 9-5 job…there’s obvious confusion around people who don’t follow that path, because it’s hard to understand how those kind of people even become successful. Each type of person is incredible, don’t get me wrong, just skipping college and taking a life path that isn’t going to always give you something to fall back on is different.
You read stories all the time about super well-known, wealthy entrepreanur’s who literally started from the ground up. They dropped out of college, maybe even high school, went broke maxing out their credit cards, and constantly faced criticism from the people around them. Yet they never stopped pushing for what they believed in. And there’s a reason those kind of people deserve to be the people who others look up to.
Honestly, I think those few years got blocked out of my memory for many reasons. I remember waking up one day, and saying to myself I was going to move to NYC the next day. It happened to be a few days before Fashion Week was starting, so I knew I already had a bus ticket down. I was starting to get to a place where I was making a little money, and trying to understand the business side of blogging. I had made myself a LinkedIn profile 6 months before, and had a few social media clients who were paying me to handle their social ever week. I was doing school online, and blogging in my free time, so in no capacity did I know anything about living on my own. I called up a girl who I met a few months before (I can’t remember how I met her) and asked if I could crash with her for a few weeks. I figured I’d tell my mom I was staying with my friend during Fashion Week and then casually stay longer than a few weeks. She said she was actually trying to move out and find a sublet for her apartment. It was in Bedstuy, Brooklyn, and in true Carrie Bradshaw fashion, I always said I’d never live in Brooklyn.
Anyway, she gave me her moms phone number, and I called her up and asked her what I could give her to sublet the apartment. The girl was moving out the next day, so I didn’t have many hours to decide what to do before telling my parents I wanted to move.
I think it’s really important to note that I didn’t even have $500 in my bank account at the time. The rent for the apartment was $857.
I walked downstairs (at my parents house in Connecticut) and told my parents I needed to talk to them. I told them I was moving to New York City the next day. They laughed at me. Until they saw how I was literally dead serious. My mom didn’t even ask how I was going to pay for it, and I honestly think it’s because she was too scared of what I would say. Not that I was going to do anything sketchy, but more of the fear that I’d get abducted or end up on the street.
So many people ask me why my parents didn’t stop me from moving. Should they have? Yes and no. I was way too young and vulnerable. I hadn’t even finished school, so I knew I’d be moving there while finishing up the rest of high school. My parents said “OK”. They knew they wouldn’t be able to stop me. Like they couldn’t stop me from trying to be a model (I wrote about that experience here) or dropping out of high school, because I wouldn’t ever accept no for an answer. I don’t think anyone expected me to actually move.
I didn’t really have a lot of friends, so I wasn’t leaving much behind, besides my best friend Gabe. I wasn’t worried about telling him: I thought he’d be really happy for me. I was wrong. I pretty much dropped the biggest bomb on him and didn’t even think about how it would affect his life: I was so determined to get out of Connecticut that nothing was on my mind besides that. I still remember his voice dropping and him about to cry on the other line. We were kinda the only people that believed in each other. I was willing to risk losing him because of how passionate I was about making my dream my life. I knew (eventually) he’d come back around. Sorry Gabe, thanks for standing by me for forever though!!!!!! Hope you’re not still mad at me!!!!!
The next day, in the dead of a February snowstorm, my dad dropped me off with 9 suitcases at the bus. I love my parents, but neither of them even offered to help me move in. They literally couldn’t have cared less. My dad was seriously confused, and my mom didn’t think I’d last more than a few weeks living in the city. That exact experience, standing on that platform in Hartford with those suitcases and my dad, made me the person I am today, and I respect them a lot for making me do it on my own. There was no money backing me, no stability, nothing.
Here’s where things get interesting. I moved in to a 5-bedroom apartment in Bedstuy, Brooklyn. A few years ago, Brooklyn was not cool like it is now. Bedstuy was a complete disaster. I had to take the C train to the F to the A to about 25 other trains (with 9 suitcases) before I arrived at 360 Franklin Avenue. I was greeted at my apartment by a cute, 25-something boy with super fluffy looking hair. I don’t remember his name…it definitely started with an M though. He showed me to my bedroom, and continued to have sex with his girlfriend in the next room. I was pretty much blind to everything relating to “adult” stuff so it wasn’t exactly what I was expecting my first hour in the city of dreams to be like.
I remember hanging my clothing up in the bedroom, sitting on the mattress on the floor (I lived in that apartment for five months and never once had a bed frame because I didn’t want to waste my money) and just closing my eyes and praying that it would work out.
I spent all of the money I had on bananas, oats, and Teddy peanut butter, and the occasional latte I’d buy at the coffee shop across the street just to have a cool Instagram picture. I was battling my eating disorder at the time, so I was adamant about getting to the gym everyday. I’d sign up with fake aliases at every New York Sports Club and Equinox in the city, and go to a new one everyday. I met some cool people at Equinox, though. One of my really good friends who I met in a running class is actually a famous writer. I told her I was 25. A few months ago I came clean and told her I lied, and now I’m only 19.
I was so fucking determined to be successful. I woke up every morning craving the “high” I’d get when I was at Fashion Week. I barely had any friends, so when things got bad, I was kinda alone. I didn’t ever tell my parents where I lived or what the apartment was like because I couldn’t deal with them knowing I wasn’t “successful” overnight.
The first time I made money was by pitching an Instagram takeover to a haircare brand. I was shocked when she replied and approved the cost. It was $1,500, which was the most money I had ever made. I was making $50 a week doing social media for a few people, but it wasn’t enough to pay for anything I wanted to do.
That $1,500 lasted me a while. I gave the landlord $500 via Paypal and told her I was really sorry and I’d pay her on time next month.
I never did.
I’m not going to say what I did was right. I was too young and scared. I did what I had to do at the time, and it forced me to make money. I knew if I didn’t make any money, I’d eventually get kicked out and be on the street.
Every day, I spent hours pitching brands Instagram takeovers, blog posts, and random social shares. I’d investigate every online magazine and email the editor. I got Parade Magazine to start paying me for writing for them. At the time, there weren’t too many teen bloggers out there. I was making myself known in the space just by emailing every single person I came across in person AND online. I had no shame in asking for money, or pitching myself to someone. When someone said no, I’d email them the following week with a new idea until they said yes.
After I spent 5 months in that apartment, I decided I had enough money saved up to move to an apartment with an actual bed. I subletted the Brooklyn apartment to a guy and managed to sustain a tiny bedroom (only one roommate this time) in Wall Street area for about five months, before I got fed up living in an apartment with no windows. There was a doorman, a roof, and a gym, so it was nice and safe.
When I initially found that apartment, I didn’t disclose my age to the roommate. I found the apartment on a Facebook page, met her and viewed the apartment, and signed the lease.
A few hours after signing the lease and finally feeling comfortable with my living situation, I got a traumatizing text from the roommate accusing me of lying about my age and telling me she’d be kicking me out within 12 hours. I immediately replied and questioned her, telling her I wasn’t 16 and that she must have found information on the wrong person. I even told her that my publicist and I had decided we’d lie about my age in the “public” for more publicity. I obviously didn’t have a publicist. She sent me a screen shot of an article I wrote for Huffington Post with my age in the title.
Fuck my life. Why me.
I went back to the apartment and calmly asked if she’d give me a chance to at least explain myself. She did. I told her how I was actually 16, how I didn’t act like a normal “kid” and that I would sign any necessary contract to let me stay in the apartment. She cooled down and let me stay.
As I write this article, I’m sitting in my 1-bedroom apartment in Boston. I paid someone to design the place. I pay my rent at the first of every month, and I have enough money to pay next months, too. I have a picture of my apartment from The Boston Globe in a frame on my bedroom wall. I have every single card or letter I’ve ever been written since I was that little girl writing in my bedroom in Connecticut on my wall.
I’m honestly in shock, now that I’ve written this post out, to see how far I’ve come. To see that I told myself to never give up, and I never did. And now that I know how far I’ve come, it makes me even more eager to see where I’ll be in 5 years from now.
I’m not writing this to inspire you to move out at 16, or eat oats and bananas for every meal. I just want other teens who read my blog to know that you can do whatever you want to. You don’t need $100k in your bank account, or even $1k, to make your dreams a reality. They might not come true overnight, but they’ll come true.
This weekend, I tried to understand why so many girls (including myself) are insanely critical about what they look like.
TJ. Maxx dress + slip, Christian Louboutin heels
This weekend, I ended up at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut. I’ve been home a lot more lately than usual, which means my mom and I fight pretty much every minute. Yep, I’m still 19 people: and I still fight with my mom every minute. Since I had to come to New York for the day today, I wanted to stay in Connecticut for the weekend but needed a little bit of a break from being home with my parents! About 35 minutes from the town I’m from lies two of the most famous and popular casinos, in the entire country. Due to one very obvious reason, I don’t get to enjoy the main reason people go to casinos (not that I’d enjoy it anyway if I wasn’t this age) so I never really understood the appeal to casinos. Why does anyone want to be surrounded by a dark, cigarette smelling environment for more than 1 hour?! I was proven seriously wrong.
I had the chance to be a part of a taping for Podcast in the Youth today in Boston, and we talked a bit about some of my favorite articles that I’ve written. It got me thinking about the articles I’ve written that have really shaped who I am as a person, and one that instantly comes to mind is Role Model or Runway Model…it’s one of the articles I think really shaped me as a person.
I started the night at Mohegan Sun, and then ended up driving to Foxwoods to wander around the outlets and eat at Alta Strada.Sometimes I do a review of a restaurant, order what I want, and that’s pretty much it. For this particular one, we were literally SHOWERED in food. And it was phenomenal. I’m so glad I showed up super hungry because we probably tried 90% of the menu. Before dinner, I wasn’t feeling too good about myself. I’m not sure if it’s because of the dress I wore, or the uncomfortable Louboutin shoes I made myself suffer in- but something didn’t make me feel 100% comfortable in my skin. And that’s OK. I’m human.
So I ate pretty much everything in sight. I ate the bread and the burrata. I ate 1/2 of the 4 bowls of pasta. I pretty much engulfed the entire tiramisu for dessert. For a second, I felt like shit. I felt full, and my dress got really tight cause I ate a lottttt. In the past, I would’ve let that uncomfortable and unhappy thought stay in my brain. And then I realized that it’s unlikely I’ll probably ever have a food review that bomb. Or have a waiter that cool. Or have sooo much access to my favorite food: truffle. So I said fuck it. I got over those negative feelings almost instantly. I’m proud I got up at 7 AM the next morning and went to the gym. Did I go solely because I ate so much pasta? Nah, I went because working out makes me happy. So does food.
Wellll, you probably already know who this chick is. Meet Olivia Culpo!
You’ve probably heard of Olivia Culpo one, two, or three hundred times over the past few years. Maybe you’ve come across her on Instagram, or maybe you’re a fan because she’s dating Danny Amendola. I don’t follow sports, even though I live in Boston, but I’ve known about Olivia for about a year now. I randomly came across her on Instagram some months ago, and fell in love with her beautiful pictures (how the hell is her lighting always so perfect!!), effortless style, and humble soul. After I googled her, I found out that she is actually from Cranston, Rhode Island, which is a town very close to where I’m from in Mansfield, Connecticut. It can be difficult in an industry as saturated as the fashion one to find someone who you feel like you can truly relate to, but Olivia was the person for me. She’s currently starting a restaurant with her dad in Rhode Island, working with DSW & Le Tote, and hanging out with other badass chicks like Aly Raisman, who are known for their passion in helping inspire other people to love their bodies. I knew I had to talk to Olivia about her journey and mission to inspire other people across the globe.
So, let’s go meet Olivia Culpo!!!
A: How did you decide to open your restaurant?
O: My dad has had a restaurant for pretty much my entire life. My family is a big Italian family. We grew up with tons of food and cooking. My dad and I have never had a business together, and I’ve never owned a restaurant. It’s the first time my family has opened up a restaurant in Rhode Island- most of his restaurants are in Boston. All my brothers and sisters and cousins will work in it. It’s different for me and it’s been really fun working with my family!
A: What was it like being a child model? How did that influence your perception of yourself and your body in the future?
O: That’s so interesting. I think that no matter what you’re doing, there is so much pressure. It doesn’t even have to be in the entertainment business- any line of work. Every woman/person struggles to get to know who they are, and it can be so difficult to understand your shape. Everyone feels the pressure to fit in. I had to struggle with that just like any other person. You really start to know yourself and understand that everyone has a different body type and relationship with their body, and that’s what makes us all so special and beautiful.
A: Tell me about what you’re doing with DSW.
O: I’m the style investor for DSW, which is really exciting. I love providing for girls and showing them that they don’t have to spend a bunch of money to make an outfit amazing. Shoes are such investment pieces, and you don’t need a bunch of them. You just need a few important shoes to incorporate into your wardrobe so that you feel good. DSW has such a variety of styles that are so affordable.
A: How did you parlay your modeling career into acting, television, and fashion work?
O: I’ve always been really diligent about seizing every opportunity and making the most of it. That’s something that’s allowed me to get a hand in so many different areas of work. I’m acting, modeling, designing, traveling a lot, and I love to cook…there are so many opportunities that I’m so lucky to have. I’ve always really embraced the opportunities. That’s why I’m able to do so many random different things.
A: How do you think social media is affecting teens and their bodies?
O: I think that it’s definitely getting harder for people to experience their own journey with their own bodies, when they are constantly faced with comparing themselves to other people. I definitely struggle with this, it’s so difficult and such a hard thing to go through. Social media is definitely making it more difficult. I think the most helpful thing that every girl needs to remember (I even say this to my little sister who is 20) that you have to understand what people are posting online is a highlight reel: it’s very much what they want to put out there. A picture can say a thousand words but it doesn’t say much about the person. You never know what is behind the perfect body or that perfect smile. We all struggle with something. Whether they are mentally suffering or physically suffering, we have to remember that what we see isn’t necessarily the truth. As soon as you think that everyone is perfect except you, you’re going to lose no matter what because you’re going to give yourself an ideal that doesn’t even exist.
I’ve definitely dealt with comparing my personal situation to someone else. Sometimes you feel like you’re not doing enough because you’re constantly comparing yourself to someone who is doing something different. I think that what always brings me back to reality is focusing on what I have in front of me right now. I’m really passionate about creating in general; if anything, you want to be inspired by what people put out there.
A: What is the best lesson that your work on HIV with the United Nations Population Fund has taught you?
O: With every charity that I’ve ever worked with, especially when I was Miss Universe, I gained a lot of perspective about how people all over the world live. We are so fortunate to live in a country with so many rights. It was amazing that I learned a new perspective. We are so fortunate to live and have access to such a forward world.
A: Who is a positive role model for you?
O: I have a role model and she is younger than me. She is the sweetest and cutest girl! She is so smart and really really eager to learn. You’ll see a picture of her with like 30 books!
I always look up to Audrey Hepburn. She is so graceful and worked so closely with different charities. She wasn’t the norm and she stood in her own, unique power. I really admire Oprah and how she has her own network. She has done so much in the industry and has broken so many barriers. I think she’s a great role model to look up to.
A: What does being a powerful woman mean to you, and how can we help more girls believe that they are powerful too?
O: That’s a tough question. It does kind of change everyday. Everyday you have a new challenge that you personally have to overcome and wrap your head around. There are a few things in my life I swear by that really help me find myself and find the answers. I love journaling and writing down my thoughts, or writing down inspirational thoughts and thinking. I’ve been doing it since I was in middle school. Another thing that’s helpful for me is meditation. It really helps you ground yourself and get into reality. It gives you a fresh perspective. We all have the same amount of power.
A: What do you think about people who have overnight success?
O: I think that personally everyone has their own journey and experience. If it’s an overnight success, that’s a great thing. It may take a little bit longer, for some people, and that’s still a great thing. There is no wrong way to do this. Your dreams and your goals have so many different ways to get there. Social media is the one new avenue someone can take. There are so many ways you can keep a name for yourself. I feel like the thing that is most important is to think about what other people are not doing. You have to keep an open mind and go with it.
A: Was social media around when you started?
O: Social media wasn’t even around when I started. Twitter was the only thing that was relevant, but not really. For someone who is first starting out, you really have to find your niche. The most important thing is to find something you’re passionate about and tell that story. You want things to last for a long time, so you have to be careful about not doing things for the wrong reasons. That gets old really fast. It’s not gonna make you happy.
A: Do you consider yourself to be an influencer? Why or why not?
O: I like to say actress/model/fashion and beauty influencer. The designing I’ve been doing is a lot of fashion based. We all have a lot of titles because there are so many opportunities we’ve been able to gain through social media!
A: What piece of advice would you most like to give your younger self?
O: I still tell myself this now. I remind myself that it’s all going to be OK. The more things you get, and the more opportunities, and the more beautiful things that life gives you, it’s almost you’re so happy but you always want more. I remind myself that not everything is for me. Life should be about being happy, your family and your friends.
A: What keeps you grounded?
O: Going home to Rhode Island. Every time I go home, I see real life. I feel like I can be in a bubble sometimes with fancy things and different cities. When I see how simple my friends and family are as it is, they are so inspirational because it’s reminds me can have all of the money in the world but you won’t necessarily be happy. You have to be happy without materialist things.
Growing up, I had the impression money was life. Obviously, as a little kid, I never took the topic of money seriously because it wasn’t important. I’d get $5 every week from my mom and that would last me until the next week.
Once I got older, I started realizing that living off of $5 every week is kind of impossible. When you get older, you get expenses: phone bills, rent, shoes, clothing, food…things your parents aren’t going to want to pay for any longer. Since I decided to move out at 17 (what I great idea, Alexa) I basically forced myself to start making money at a young age. I’m glad I did, because now I feel like I know so much more about money than I wouldn’t have known if I didn’t move out on my own.
Last week, Gabe and I headed to Newport to Discover Newport. If you’ve never heard of Newport, it’s a popular New England town in Rhode Island. Expect The Hamptons meets Malibu meets Greenwich, CT: it’s pretentious but everyone is nice. It’s mostly local, organic food, but the food is actually insanely delicious. We ended up eating at 22 Bowen’s, which is a restaurant located right on the wharf. I eat just about everything, but Gabe is a little more restricted in his diet (with a few allergies) so he didn’t get to indulge in the dairy filled deliciousness I did: but we both adored what we ate. I opted for a huge piece of steak, and Gabe got salmon. For the appetizer, we had burrata and salad: which were both life changing.
Every time I’m lucky enough to review a restaurant, I remember how important it is to not let money lead you. Would I go to Newport everyday and drop $300 on a lunch meal with Gabe? Probably not. But if I wanted to: who cares? If you’d rather go to McDonald’s and buy unlimited fries, who cares? You decide what makes you happiest, and go with it!
For the remainder of the day, we ate a ton of gelato, wandered around the mansions, and went shopping. If you’re an East Coast girl, and you want a little weekend escape- I highly suggest heading to Newport.
