First off, how are you and how is your week going!? I can’t believe it’s already a Wednesday. I feel like I’m constantly losing track of time, but that’s totally something that old people should say. There never seems to be enough hours in the day! I’m a total hotel snob, so I usually really focus on staying at tons of hotels or cool hotspots in any city. This weekend, I wanted to switch it up a bit and rent somewhere on AirBnb that’s different than the average hotel. I ended up coming across a place called Zuma Sanctuary, that’s a major campground on a massive lot of land nestled above the hills in Malibu. For $250, the place was not cheap for one night. Unfortunately, LA hotels aren’t ever below $200 unless it’s a crazy good deal, so I splurged on a night at this place instead of spending the same amount on a hotel. I wasn’t expecting Zuma to be anything near what it was: this little gem completely exceeded my expectations. A major mansion is right above the campground, and on the campground there’s a kitchen, a beautiful bathroom and shower, 2 “tents” with fireplaces and bookcases, and 2 airstreams. The airstreams looked rad too, but were actually more expensive. My boyfriend and I were the only people on the lot, though that’s because it’s not as warm as it would be in the summer right now in LA. I think we got a steal for this place!

We ate dinner at Nobu (the best sushi you’ll ever eat), wandered along the beach, casually drove by Bieber, and got acai bowls for breakfast. I didn’t work on Monday, which made the day even more relaxing and blissful. I’d do anything to wake up everyday next to a fresh herb garden with an acai bowl. I meannnnn, there’s nothing better! I think I’d also be totally OK living in an airstream. Small spaces that look chic are totally the new thing of 2019- you can quote me on that.

In the meantime, I’m going to finish writing a few more posts and also finish a bag of Brandless.com organic Swedish fish.

On other note: here’s somewhere else in LA that we checked out last year that should be your new go-to!

From the moment I walked up to Blue Medi Spa, I was happily greeted with kindness and already knew my experience was going to be a great one. While filling out their form, I was greeted by Davina, whom we communicated via email with, and she had checked in on me to make sure my visit has been satisfying so far, which I appreciate because at the end of the day customer service is important! As for the facial, Raquel was the one who worked on my face and let me tell you, she did the works! The facial that I had received was the “Fire and Ice” facial that they had provided for me so that I could get the feels on just about everything. What I loved about this experience was that Raquel was informing on everything that went on my face and how that product would help my face. She was very detailed and the products were refreshing! Following the facial, she answered any questions or concerns that I had and her answers helped me understand the process of a facial much more. Blue Medi Spa really makes sure their customer receives the best experience they can get and I highly recommend treating yourself to a fun spa day if you’re ever in the Sherman Oaks area.

Xo,

Alexa

Topshop outfit, Ray-Ban sunglasses

Do you ever have those weeks where you feel like you just can’t quite figure things out? I have days (and occasional weeks) where everything just seems a whole lot harder than it would be if I was feeling 100%! I took off this weekend and Monday to spend time off of my cell phone and live in the moment with my boyfriend, who was visiting me from California. When I have days where I’m not on my phone as much, I find myself getting distracted: the good kind of distracted. I actually pay attention to palm trees, and beautiful ocean water, and what people are saying to me. I have times where most of a conversation I have with someone is done while we’re both on our phone screens, and that’s not healthy. After I went to church last week, my perspective on minor things has definitely changed, for the better, because I can easily get so caught up with little things in life. You have to keep yourself focused on the bigger picture at all times.

What are some tips I have for navigating days where you just don’t feel that mentally present? Use these mental health apps to help you get back in the moment. Focus on your breathing instead of everything going on around you! Or, skip the apps altogether and go for a walk or a hike. If you live on the East Coast, you might not be able to hike Runyon Canyon and get some fresh air, so head to the gym or your local YMCA. Talk to people! Everyone has a story, and if you think yours is giving you major stress, the person next to you in line at the grocery store might be having an even worse day. When I was at my local grocery store yesterday, I was pretty upset about something and ended up walking by a guy talking on the phone telling someone how things always get better. Sometimes you need to walk by a stranger at the store and hear them tell someone that things don’t look grey for long.

Xo,

Alexa

1. YOU NEVER KNOW

You truly never know what someone else is going through. Maybe the girl you keep calling “fat” has an eating disorder. Maybe the guy who is super quiet and barely says a word has an abusive parent at home. Or maybe they don’t — that’s the point here. You NEVER know. Try putting yourself in their shoes for a minute.

2. IT FEELS GOOD

It makes you feel better. Call it selfish or whatever, but seriously… when’s the last time being mean to someone made you feel good? You might get some weird satisfaction from being mean, but when you’re done… don’t you feel icky? Like you need a shower? Being mean does nothing for your soul except for crush it.

3. BEING NICE IS CONTAGIOUS

As humans, we naturally feed off of each other’s energy. If everyone in the room is being negative, chances are you’re going to adapt to that vibe. But if everyone is being super nice, chances are you will want to be that way too. It may take a few days, but it’s simple to start. When your friend makes a snarky or gossipy comment to you about the girl who looks like she didn’t wash her hair today… you know it’s not right. Try looking at her and saying something like, “Maybe she ran out of time? I did the same thing the other day.” Try it and see what happens.

4. YOU WILL BE REMEMBERED

These days, social media let’s us keep up with each other long after high school and college. You wouldn’t believe the girls who like and comment on my posts with the nicest things, who were SO MEAN to me in high school. Of course, I would never say anything to them now because there isn’t a reason to. And sure, if they ever wanted to get together I’d be down. I don’t hold it against them because, again, there is no point. But I guarantee you, they regret treating people the way they did. Don’t be like them. Be remembered as the nice girl.

5. THE GOLDEN RULE

Treat others like you’d want to be treated. What if someone was doing to you what you did to them? There’s a reason why we’ve all been taught this phrase. It’s true. Think about it.

Are you kind of a mean girl, but not sure how to flip the switch? The next time you see someone wearing a ridiculous outfit that you’d NEVER be caught dead wearing… instead of saying that to your friend, try talking about how much confidence that person has to wear that. Would you be confident to rock that look? To be honest, probably not. Eventually, you’ll quit obsessing about other people’s differences (seriously, #YOUDOYOU). Instead, hopefully you’ll start embracing everyone’s ability to be unique and awesome. Would you have the guts to pour your heart out about the one you love on your Instagram stories like that girl in English class did? No, you wouldn’t.

RESPECT the people who are different than you and share the love.

ADIDAS x Urban Outfitters outfit, FITKICKS shoes

When I moved to LA, I was bombarded with pictures of models, celebrities, and fitness gurus everywhere. Anytime you walk into a grocery store, you see someone who looks like they just walked out of a tanning salon or a movie. For a young soul like mine, I’m not going to deny that’s rough! I don’t care whether you’re walking through the halls of your high school, or through the streets of Beverly Hills: we’re all allowed to feel intimidated and insecure occasionally. The only time that can be an unhealthy is when you start walking outside and consistency feel unhappy, and insecure with yourself.

Fitness used to be a way for me to escape the body image issues I suffered with. I’d spend hours on the treadmill, the elliptical, and in the weights section, never actually picking up weights but instead thinking of ways I could look like the other girls looked like. I know that sounds crazy cliche, but I can’t tell you any more honestly that I used to suffer terribly with my body everyday. Learning to love your body is an uphill battle, and not something that happens overnight. Instead of spending 3 hours at the gym, I started learning about my body and what makes me feel good. That means lifting weights because they won’t make me fat. Eating two truffles for breakfast today because I was too lazy to make healthy food.

I came across FITKICKS and was intrigued with how these shoes operate. Instead of wearing bulky sneakers at the gym or on your walk, these shoes operate more like padded socks. I was sceptical, until I tried them on and realized that these are literally better than gym shoes. Screw your Nikes: they’re overpriced and don’t come in nearly as many patterns! FITKICKS is all about living your strongest and happiest life, and they’re perfect for men, women, and kids. For $22, you can have a pair of chic, fun shoes that will make you feel like you’re taking an adventure.

P.S. I’m doing a FITKICKS Instagram giveaway today- stay tuned on Instagram to win! 

Xo,

Alexa

I was honored to have Catt Sadler of E! News and Lulu Eschelman on This is Life Unfiltered this week. As you know, Catt Sadler just left E! News because she found out that she wasn’t being paid nearly as much as her partner, Jason Kennedy. Celebs across the country spoke out and mentioned Catt on social media, supporting her sudden decision to leave a job she’s been at for years. I’ve been a huge fan of Catt’s for quite some time, and modeled my career after hers since I started my blog. I was introduced to Lulu and Catt last year at a party in the Grove (an LA shopping destination) and knew I had to get both of them on This is Life Unfiltered. These are some boss a** women- and I say so because they’ve both broken down barriers in the fashion and entertainment industry. Lulu and Catt collaborated on Lulu’s bag line, LumillaMingus, and the project is even more appealing because it gives back to women and kids across the globe.

What are you waiting for? Don’t you want to know what I talked to Catt about during the interview that even Megyn Kelly couldn’t land?

Xo,

Alexa

1.) Anxiety Reliever

Enables users to track their anxiety and offers relaxation exercises to calm your triggered nerves. There is also a free version of this app but it is limited. To use the full app, it is a $5.99 per month fee.

2.) Anxiety Coach

This app is your personal coach that you can access when you’re in need of help. This app helps you list your fears and helps you overcome them. It is useful for upcoming events you may be overwhelming yourself with. This app also includes self-tests, making plans, tracking your anxiety, and viewing your progress. A great app for all and costs a one-time fee of $4.99.

3.) Breathe2Relax

Designed by the National Center for Telehealth & Technology, this app helps us manage through stress by demonstrating breathing techniques. This app is very useful to those who have anxiety disorders, stress-related issues or PTSD.

Includes video, reading materials, and tracks your progress. Great for self-starts and free to all.

4.) CPT Coach

This app is specifically for those who are dealing with PTSD and currently going through treatment with a trained Cognitive Processing therapist. The app provides great information on PTSD as well as helping you schedule appointments or reminders and helping you correspond with treatments. Free to all.

5.) Happify

Self-guided app that aims to increase positivity through exercises and games. What is useful is that they provide you with a questionnaire and activities to help reduce worry, build relationships and cope with chronic pain. This app is free with paid upgrades and can range from $10.99-19.99

6) Headspace

This is a great app for anyone that wants to learn meditation that’ll help reduce anxiety, stress, and improvement of awareness. Great for beginners wanting to learn more. These skills includes breathing exercise, mediation practice, tips for anxiety relaxation. Included with these skills are presentation videos, podcasts, forums and many more. This app is free for the first 10 sessions only and then there is a subscription fee.

7) Calm Harm

Xo,

Alexa

I started my nonprofit M.I.N.T. to help young adults learn to love who they are. In light of Logan Paul’s recent viral suicide video, I wanted to ask parents how they teach their kids about social media and suicide. I learned a lot from this experience, and I hope you haven’t let someone like Logan Paul influence you to ever harm yourself. Laughing about the negative effects of social media, and more importantly suicide, isn’t funny- and making fun of your friends who joke about suicide is never a funny thing to do.

I was surprised at how much parents in the stores I went to knew about social media. I wasn’t expecting as many parents to be so knowledgable- I know my parents didn’t teach me much about social media when I was a kid! I was relieved to know that parents in this day and age know a lot about the Internet, and how it’s changing the way kids view themselves and their bodies. Most of the parents weren’t comfortable speaking on-camera (who would be when a random girl approaches you in a store) but I got some fantastic responses from the parents who didn’t mind chatting. All of the parents agreed with me that when parents negatively talk about their bodies, it truly impacts how kids view who they are. The worst thing a parent can do is look in the mirror and be critical of their body, because kids do pick up many of those comments and think that they are “normal”.

My advice? Start the discussion early. Don’t be afraid to make your child uncomfortable- it’s the most practical way of getting your child to trust you! If there’s one thing I wish my parents did when I was younger, it’s teaching me about my body (the creepy and the not creepy) as early as age 7. What’s the worst that could happen- your kid blocks you on Instagram? Is there anything worse than that?

Xo,

Alexa

Listen, we’ve all got something. Even Kim Kardashian wakes up on days and doesn’t feel 100% happy. One of the reasons I hate social media (most of the time) is because you don’t get to truly see what people are dealing with behind the scenes. I can’t tell you the amount of days I wake up and feel sad, or empty, and I’m not afraid to say that. As I get older, I realize how important being honest with myself is. It’s not my friends, my boyfriend, or my families fault when I don’t feel 100%. I’m tailored to be this way, and I can’t control it. How can you be honest with someone else if you aren’t being honest with yourself? I have spent a lot of time worrying about my body, and the way I look, because I wasn’t confident in myself or my ability to succeed. Talking to my therapist every week helps me remind myself to stay on track, and not get caught up in the noise, when it frequently sounds easier said than done. YOU determine your happiness, and you may have to be honest with yourself and reach out for help in order to get your anxiety or depression under control. I PROMISE you it gets better.

See the TILU website for all of our past episodes here.

Xo,

Alexa

Disclaimer: I’m not a licensed therapist. However, I have training in mental health first aid and have battled all of these mental health issues on my own, so I am speaking from my own personal experiences and knowledge. If you need more resources, I made a huge list here.  

Logan Paul & YouTube have been under fire the past few days. If you aren’t familiar with what’s currently going on in the social media world, YouTube sensation Logan Paul released a video earlier this week that shows him in Japan, trying to put a humorous twist on a situation he found himself in in the “suicide forest.” The suicide forest is well-known place in Japan where people go to kill themselves. Something many of us forget is that most of the content on the Internet is fake, until it includes real life tragedies and events that take something real and make it superficial. His video is alarming, and makes me wonder how he has become the face of YouTube since he is seriously making fun of someone who hung himself. Maybe he’s never battled anxiety or depression, but I have, along with millions of other people out there. He has completely failed at inspiring young people, and failed even more at proving to people that he’s worthy of the success and fame he’s come into from his Vine career.

I could care less about Logan Paul’s career, but this incident brings up a deeper topic. People aren’t taking suicide, depression and anxiety as seriously as they should be. If you’ve faced anxiety or depression, or have friends who have, you’re familiar with how dealing with any mental health issue is painful. If you’re not familiar with anxiety or depression, they are very common among young adults who are coming into who they are and facing many decisions as they get older. Your depression and anxiety may never disappear for good, but they will be improved as you learn how to properly deal with them. I’ve battled both depression and anxiety, and I have anxiety that I deal with everyday. Mine can be incredibly severe, and often has me feeling isolated and scared. I speak weekly with my therapist about my anxiety, and we’ve come up with some tactics that might help improve your anxiety & depression.

1. 6 deep breaths in, 6 deep breaths out, 6 deep breaths in. 

2. 30-60 minutes of therapy EVERY WEEK. If you are having a hard time finding a therapist who takes your insurance, or if you’re having a hard time finding a therapist you like, please email me! 

3. Try visualizing. Close your eyes and imagine you’re on a beach watching the waves. Every time a tide draws to the sand, think of your problems, and let the tide take one at a time. 

4. Live in the moment. Whenever you have anxiety about the future, remember that you’re doing the best you can right now, today. There is no talk about tomorrow, or 1 year from now, or yesterday. You’re living in today. All you need to worry about is doing the best you can to be the best version of yourself today.

If you ever feel like you will never recover from your anxiety or depression, remember that you deserve to live a happy and fulfilling life. We’ve all got battles and inner demons: you can recover and live a fantastic life like you deserve to, I promise.

Xo,

Alexa

Alice & Olivia dress, Boohoo heels

When I was little, I refused to go into thrift stores. I think this was because my mom used to bring me thrift shopping with her almost every weekend during my childhood. My parents definitely didn’t have a lot of money, so my mom used to buy most of her clothing from thrift/consignment stores. I got so used to the bizarre smell of thrift stores that I started to avoid going with her as often as I could. As I got older, friends of mine would ask me to go thrift shopping or vintage shopping with them, and I started to venture out of my comfort zone to stores like Goodwill and Crossroads Trading. When I lived in New York City, I’d go to Goodwill or Housing Works to scout for designer duds (like Chanel and Gucci) that you can literally find as cheap as $10. Let’s just say, I’m hooked on consignment/thrift stores now. Plus, having a reliable consignment store in your area is awesome because anytime you’re looking to get rid of clothing, you can bring in yours and get money on the spot! Last week, I made $200 from bringing in a bunch of my old clothing. When the clothing I have isn’t suitable for a store, I’ll give it to my mom to bring into the hospital she works in, or I’ll drop it off at a dropbox outside of a thrift store.

The difference between thrift and consignment stores is that one gives you money for your clothing, and one doesn’t give you anything. Vintage stores are neat too- that’s where you’ll find more than just clothing. There might be furniture, records, and electronics at a vintage store. You can choose to get money right when you get to the consignment store (they usually give you between 20-40%) or, you can wait until the clothing sells and collect your money then. If you do the latter, you’ll usually make more money, but it won’t be anything near what you purchased the item for. I usually take the money and go shopping!

I found this bedazzled Alice & Olivia gem for $25 at Crossroads Trading Company in West Hollywood back in November. I first found Crossroads in Houston, and fell in love with the perfectly organized consignment store. This chain of stores has the best selections of designers for the cheapest prices: brands like Rag and Bone, Topshop, Aldo, Alice & Olivia and more fill the entire store. The prices for men & women are right in line with your budget too: you won’t expect to spend that much per item unless you’re shopping in the designer section. When I was surfing through the racks, I spotted this dress and saw the price tag of $50, with an additional sticker of 50% off of $50. What’s better than making money off of old clothing, and buying expensive clothing for a quarter of the price?

P.S. A new newsletter is going out today! Subscribe below.