I returned from Ibiza late last night, and I had the most incredible 72 hours of my life. If you had a chance to listen to last weeks episode of This is Life Unfiltered, you’d know that I was supposed to go to Ibiza with a friend of mine from Boston and she canceled a few days before we were supposed to leave. I had been looking forward to this trip for a while, especially because last year I went and felt like I could’ve had a better experience. If someone canceled on a trip like this via text last year, I would’ve moved on and not really cared. I’ve learnt so much about myself since I moved to LA alone, and have learnt so much about toxic people vs. positive people: it’s easy to get sucked into being unhappy or surrounded by people who you realize are using you, until you learn enough about yourself and the type of people you deserve to be around. Now that I’m 20 years old and I’ve had my fair share of positive and negative friendships, I’ve realized that I’d rather have one solid friend than 100 friends that wouldn’t be there for me when I need them. If you find yourself struggling with meeting the right people, know that your time will come. In the meantime, focus on making yourself the happiest and strongest version of yourself so that when you have that solid group of friends (like I do now) you realize that all you had to do was hold on a little bit longer. I promise, that period of time you spent growing yourself will have been so worth it. I decided to reply to her text, and tell her I was honestly disappointed and surprised that she’d cancel via text with no explanation. Why would I waste my time being friends with someone who doesn’t at least call to cancel a major trip, right?
Upon landing in America yesterday, I got kind of anxious and almost felt depressed. I didn’t sleep much in Europe, and I didn’t work at all- which was very needed because I was about a day away from getting burnt out and depressed. After spending 3 days in Spain, hanging out on a boat, doing nothing but eating and sightseeing and having so much carefree fun, coming back to reality is hard. I am the type of person who is always looking to what’s next: the minute I landed, I started focusing on what could go wrong over the next month instead of focusing on everything that I have to do. I try as hard as I can to always push negative thoughts out of my mind, but it’s easier said than done. We’re all only human: emotions are normal.
The title of this post isn’t about teaching you how to follow and unfollow, get more followers, DM a guy or a girl properly…it’s to have an honest conversation with you about why I truly feel Instagram can be such a negative space. You probably wanted my life over the past 72 hours with all of the cool pictures I posted on Instagram, right? I’d never post something that wasn’t cool and inspiring because that’s what I try and preach: but that doesn’t mean I feel happy and on top of the world every hour. I tried very hard to stay present and in a carefree, 20 year old mindset for the 3 days I was in Ibiza because I feel often that I lost out on a huge part of my life without having gone to college. So I take every opportunity I can to act like I’m in college, even if it’s 3 days a year and not in a normal college setting. Work a lot, and have fun just as often because you’d never want to regret having missed out on opportunities you could’ve been a part of.
It sickens me that Instagram is such a highlight reel of anyones life. Celebrities, influencers, bloggers…everyone is posting what they know people want to see. I wish I could let every one of you into my life everyday because you’d know that boats and trips are not what I spend 99.999% of my time doing: same for every other celebrity and influencer out there. When you find yourself wishing for a life different than yours, remember that I find myself wanting someone else’s life too. Until I remember that I’m satisfied with my life, and there’s no real reason to want someone else’s life because social media isn’t an accurate representation of what most people spend their time doing.
One like, one picture, one cool video…is nothing compared to real life. Take a social media detox. Fly to Spain alone like I was about to do. Take risks OFFLINE: because one day Instagram probably won’t be there, and then what will we have besides friends, family, and memories?