Confidence is a funny thing; some people seem to have it in bundles, while others struggle to picture themselves with some. Not everyone starts off confident either; some children seem to be bold and brave from birth, while others are naturally more introverted and calm but not confident in themselves.
You may have noticed somewhere in the last few years that your own confidence has taken a downward turn. The great news is that it is possible for you to build your confidence little by little until it reaches the point where you are happy with it.
What is confidence?
When it comes to confidence, there aren’t a lot of different options for the definition, and many people who try to describe it will mention a feeling of confidence.
Self-confidence comes down to trusting in your abilities and skills and knowing that you are in control of those things. Often confidence comes with a depth of learning and understanding of something.
So that when asked, you can give a correct answer – or that you can consider the questions and offer a solution to that problem. Confidence can be seen in how people communicate – rather than being rude or quiet, they will be assertive and have a specific tone that people tend to respond to.
Criticism is typically easier to deal with when you are confident in your skills because rather than see it as something you’ve done wrong – it becomes an opportunity to further improve what you are already good at.
Can you quickly improve your confidence?
While there are some tricks you can do at the moment to increase your confidence, there are no shortcuts to genuine confidence. But the term fake it ‘til you make it is a great place to start. Acting like you are confident until you begin to truly feel it can help.
In the meantime, here are some ways that you can increase your confidence in work, life, love, and more.
When was the last time you took a step back from your day and thought about everything that you do really well? And it’s not just the big stuff; it might be that you know you can make a fresh loaf of bread without a recipe, or you can handle a three-point turn with ease. Start to make a list of everything that you are good at and what you would consider your strengths.
By highlighting what you are good at, you will begin to see that you have a lot of valuable skills – and, therefore, valuable too.
Self-alignment means looking at all of the should moments you have. You should be in a better job; you should eat better food; you should be a better parent; you SHOULD do a lot of things.
Should is one of the most harmful words when it comes to confidence because that means there is a gap between where you are now and what you envision for your life. Start ditching should and take a look at your life through a wider lens for a while.
Try to understand why there are so many shoulds – where do they come from? If they come from anywhere other than yourself, it is an expectation that you have not set and doesn’t align with you.
For millions of people, they put confidence in the ability not to fail at all rather than learning how to rebuild and learn from a failure. Failing is a valuable and essential part of confidence. Almost all life coaches and even your best friend will tell you it is OK to fail – it is normal, actually – and it can teach you a lot.
Confidence in its truest form doesn’t come from external places; it comes from within, so fail, succeed, win an award, or don’t – you’ll still retain your confidence when you accept that it is internal.
Who told you that?
A TikTok tip that has been very helpful for millions of people is one of the fastest ways to silence your inner critic. When the back of your mind starts telling you you’re not good enough, you can’t do it, or any of the other things that our inner critics say – ask yourself, ‘who told you that?’.
Most of the time, the answer is – no one. And if you can put a name to it, then there are things and people you might need to remove from your life to be able to move forward and work on your confidence.
Not everyone has to be loud, but using your voice is one of the most critical parts of confidence – but it is more likely to come in the later stages naturally or through frustration earlier. As we build our confidence in our skills and understanding, we will become more confident that we know what we know and that it is right. Learn when you hold firm to the point you have made.
Finding your voice can be tricky if you work somewhere that has strong opinions and strong personalities – but keep in mind what you say is valuable, and regardless of how they see it, have the confidence to state your points.
Let it go
One thing that holds many people back from being confident is that they hold on to everything – including things they can’t control when what would be better is to learn to let it go. Let go of something you have no control over. Let go of things people have said in the past and don’t even consider what they may say in the future.
Hold on to this – what other people think of you is none of your business, and whatever doesn’t serve you, let it go.
Working on your confidence in all areas of your life means asking for what you need, ensuring you get what you deserve, being heard and understood, and falling deeply in trust with yourself.
It might be time to give yourself a big shake-up, and here are the Top 10 Areas Of Your Life To Reassess In 2023.