BONUS EPISODE: THE ROAD TO FEARLESS

6 January 2022

MY NEW SHOW ON LOCALISH, FEARLESS, IS OUT TODAY!

WOW, what a road this has been! My second show (!!!!) is OFFICIALLY OUT! I want to remind you that the journey and the experiences, the rejection and the acceptance, are what makes you who you are. If I had been turned down by them because I didn’t have millions of followers, I would’ve said screw it, I don’t need them anyway.

But they took a chance on me, and a good one, and it changed my life for forever.

I remember writing a batch of emails out when I first had the idea for Fearless Friday’s, and I got a few replies with one being from an assistant of a VP at Disney. I was sitting in a meeting with my (now) manager who at the time was interested in representing me but couldn’t exactly figure out what I was doing with my career. There was no Be Fearless Summit or podcast yet, just me and a blog with a few TV segments here and there. A meeting was set for right before the holidays with the rest of the team.

I’ll fast forward through the boring business and legal stuff, but in March of 2018 I sat in a meeting in Burbank and got the show! I was elated. It was the most exciting moment of my life. The contracts where ready to be signed and I was like this is my moment, I’ve worked for so many years and now it finally paid off. A few weeks later I was in Scottsdale, Arizona for a conference and I got a phone call from my manager who explained to me that they decided I couldn’t have the show. I remember looking up at the sky and just falling to the ground after that. I had a mini YouTube series that was geared towards older people and it was NOT PG. PG-13 but not PG, and for a PG company, I should’ve known better.

For 6 months, I wanted to die. A part of me had wished I had been 12-years-old, like most people are, when they sign with a company geared towards kids. If I had been a kid, I would’ve had no insight into life yet. At this point I was still a “kid” in a sense, but I was smart enough to know that you don’t get that many yes’ in an industry like entertainment.

Having been through so many years of rejection, so much trial and error, and then getting told that it wouldn’t work out again, was the worst feeling in the world. When you work your whole life for some glimmer of success, for that one “yes”, and then it’s gone in a moment, there is nothing to describe it.

I drove back from Scottsdale to Los Angeles, was once again sleeping on the floor of a sublet in West Hollywood, and slept for days. I had a flight booked to Istanbul to see my nephew a few weeks after that, so it’s now almost summer, early May, and we had never heard back from the team about what could be resolved. I got to Istanbul and slept for more days. I’d wake up, check my email and my texts, and go back to bed. Because of the time difference, I was actually setting alarms at 1 AM in Istanbul to wake up and check my email to see if there was anything from my team or them. Day after day, nothing came. I blamed myself for having lost the show, for having been “stupid” enough to think I was helping people with those initial videos, and naive enough for thinking someone as big as a company like Disney would ever take a chance on me. It’s not like I came from tons of connections or money. I didn’t have someone to call to make a call to a friend to convince them I was worthy of this opportunity.

I woke up one day during that (what felt like) catastrophic time in my life, and had the idea for the Be Fearless Summit. I was so fragile that I didn’t think I’d ever be able to pursue the summit idea, but a part of me felt like I was getting back to myself now that I had another idea come along in my mind.

I left Disney, and and pitched the concept for FEARLESS to LOCALISH early last year and here we are!

TIMING, PERSISTENCE, KINDNESS, AND a little bit of obsession are they keys to success.

I’ll be interviewing the girls from the first episode TODAY on Instagram at 3 PM EST!

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