I’ve never hesitated to be vocal about my anxiety and depression. When I stopped modeling at age 16, and decided to focus more on topics like mental health and my eating disorder, and because of that, I received a really positive response from the media. Now I get an insane amount of emails and messages from kids everyday who are suffering with anxiety, depression, being bullied, an eating disorder…and it’s made me realize that we’re all on this journey called life alone. The only person you have to rely on is yourself. Sometimes you might need an extra therapy session, or you may have to reach out to a doctor or even a hospital for help, which is okay too.
I started a nonprofit in 2016 called M.I.N.T., that I’m hoping to bring back to the public in the fall: M.I.N.T. opened me up to a world of opportunity and interest into the world of mental health: I’ve learnt so much about myself, and teens across the globe since starting a project that revolves around talking to teens in schools: inner city, private, and everything in between. Surprisingly, the kids at the nicest private schools are suffering with the same anxiety and depression, cutting and suicidal thoughts that the kids in inner city schools are battling. Just because you have tons of money and access to opportunities that some people don’t doesn’t mean that you’re happy: as the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain have shown us.
When Bustle asked to include my anxiety diary in a piece, I jumped at the idea. Why shouldn’t you guys know that my life isn’t all Instagram pictures and YouTube videos? I despise social media because I know that people look at Instagram feeds and pictures and instantly feel like they aren’t good enough to be like the “cool” girls and guys on Instagram. If only you really knew that so much of this world is fake.
Sometimes my life is fantastic, sometimes I feel like I’m high on life, and sometimes I’m depressed. No pretty picture can fix depression or an anxiety attack. Be honest with yourself and the people around you: we’ve all got something going on behind the scenes, and some of us have to put in a little more work to stay happy and healthy!
Here’s what I had to say:
Alexa Curtis, the CEO of Life Unfiltered with Alexa, tells Bustle she’s been dealing with a severe anxiety disorder for most of her life. “I wake up probably half of the week in the middle of the night, or around 3 to 4 a.m. with such panic and stress in my heart, and in my mind that it’s hard for me to turn it off,” she says.
“It just feels like a hamster wheel that won’t stop spinning. I’ve come to terms with my anxiety and have learned to accept that it’s a part of me,” she explains. “But, meditating every morning and staying on a routine helps me put things into perspective when my anxiety starts to act up.”
Read the full article here. Know that you’re never alone, and that we’re all on a journey to truly loving ourselves. Even that means exercising 1 day, skipping the gym for 15, eating a burger for breakfast and a cupcake for lunch…does anything truly matter besides you being happy?