I’m kinda LOVING this new series. It’s inspiring me to be fearless every single day so that I can report back to you guys!
Earlier this week, I posted about how to be fearless when dating. There’s a lot to unpack there but ultimately confidence and the ability to say yes or no to someone in a specific scenario is how to win the dating game. Until you’re confident enough to be able to sit at a table and talk freely about yourself and what you like and don’t, keep working on yourself until you are. The reason I say that is because to have a successful relationship you need to know your strengths and weaknesses. You can certainly learn those along the way but I’ve found that the ability to know what you like and don’t like upfront reduces so much bullshit and games while dating. You only have a certain amount of time: be wise with it. There is no rush to find your person. Because when you find that person, there will be less issues since you’ve already found your identity.
On Tuesday morning, I was invited to a dinner in Austin via a CEO who I haven’t met but have been connected with via socials and LinkedIn for quite some time. They had a founder drop out of their weekly founders dinner and wanted to invite me.
Initially, a few things went through my mind:
I don’t go out on Tuesday nights and I may be out past my bedtime
What if it’s super awkward and I don’t feel comfortable leaving?
Who are these people!?
Before I even had the chance to let myself say no, I replied to his email and said count me in. Step one to being fearless: don’t allow your mind to spiral before you say yes.
I would’ve gone alone, but my friend Kendall wasn’t doing anything so I asked her if she wanted to join. In the case the dinner was awkward or boring, at least she’d be there to talk to. I’m still getting used to the process of being fearless and confident in certain situations, so bringing a friend can be really helpful so that you don’t say no to something just because you’re nervous of what the outcome could be.
The dinner was lovely, and though I didn’t stay super long because I was already getting anxiety about being out late, I felt proud of myself that I said yes to a dinner with people I didn’t know.
How can you have a similar mentality surrounding going out? Look at every experience as an opportunity to learn something about yourself. Even if the dinner had been boring and awkward, I would’ve tested myself by being honest with the group and allowing myself to leave the dinner (while saying thank you) so I’m not wasting my time or theirs.
It’s OKAY if you get in a scenario that isn’t benefitting you, and it’s even more okay to leave. You took a chance and did something that made you uncomfortable. Reward yourself for that.
I’m very confident, especially in social settings, so I don’t get too nervous about being around people I don’t know. Since I have so much background in entertainment and podcasting, I’m good at interrogating people with questions, especially in times where there’s that dreaded awkward silence. During this dinner, I decided to take a seat back and listen and allow others to ask me questions. The need to fill that “awkward” space during conversation is a defense mechanism to avoid thinking YOU look awkward, but it’s the opposite. Don’t view those awkward spaces in conversation as a bad thing: allow yourself to take some time and think before you ask another question, and perhaps in that spare time you may be asked a question.
How were you fearless this week?
BE FEARLESS SUMMIT 2022 FALL ANNOUNCEMENT IS COMING NEXT WEEK!