You’re probably already sick of me talking about the Internet, or you’re on the brink of being sooo over hearing one more thing about social media, and I get it. Here’s the thing: me too. After an entire week of press calls talking about ’13 Reasons Why’ I haven’t been able to say one word about the show for the last week. I am so blessed to have been considered an expert on the show, but now I’m excited for the “downtime” between discussions until season 2 gets released…

So, how exactly does the title of this post apply to what I’m writing? I’ve been in Bangkok for the past 48 hours, which has been an incredible opportunity. I never expected to be able to travel to places like I have at my age, and for that, I’m so so happy everyday that I kept following my dreams! I am staying at a pretty hotel with a nice big blue pool, and I’ve been taking pictures each morning on different things I see outside. As I was taking pictures this morning, trying to get a damn piece of green matcha cake to look at least moderately appetising, I realised something. I hate this city! I think it’s disgusting, it smells bad, the food sucks and hurts my stomach, I definitely don’t understand 99% of the words locals say, and the traffic is horrific.

I love to travel. My entire job revolves around traveling, and I’m the first person to say yes to ANY travel opportunity (literally, send me anywhere and I’m in) but something is different this time around. I don’t feel like I should hide the fact that I’m not entirely enjoying myself here, as much as I’m posting pretty pictures with clear blue water. I was expecting to have Victoria Secret model pictures with huge coconuts and monkeys on my back, but what I actually have is a clear blue people and slums right outside of the pool. I spent 25 minutes in a hail storm with my mom trying to get one decent picture (I’m very picky) in this white dress, and then I looked at the pictures and hated how my arms look, how pale I looked, and other miscellaneous ridiculous things. It wasn’t the lighting that was ruining that picture yesterday: it was my negative attitude towards my body that was just hurting me in the end.

Something else I’ve been seeing on Instagram lately is a trend of talking about bodies. Everyone has a right to talk about their body (hopefully always positively) but I’m nervous that this is a fad that might not disappear. I really only talk about bodies + teen bodies because of my eating disorder and body image issues growing up, that I know many young adults are dealing with presently. If I didn’t have that experience, I wouldn’t go talking about my body that often. Would you? I understand trying to empower and inspire everyone online, but I feel like everyone is trying to “inspire” everyone else by talking about it to gain attention, not because they have a struggle they’ve dealt with that they want to help others overcome. Or even if they haven’t had a struggle, some people are looking for attention but not caring about the actual issue.

I have a love/hate relationship with social media at the end of the day, and I adore finding people who inspire me online. I just hope the discussion around body image doesn’t become a fad that dies out: it should be an ongoing topic that is discussed around the globe and with every person.

Xo,

Alexa